Friday is the day!

It is being reported on BWI that Vidal Hazelton will announce his College of choice. Will it be PSU, the greatest school in all the land? or will it be US-Crap? You know which way to go Vidal!


















WE ARE!!!!

Save our Balls!

I found this tasty little story, however, a few things about it struck me as odd. Of course, the title is hilarious and the picture of the giant ball.



















Take a closer look and check out those prices! I mean, I understand that gas costs a little more on the west coast but those fuckers seem high! So i checked it out and after a brief google it appears that these prices are high. See it here. Who would want to save the "balls" of a business which is price gouging!?!?!?!? The prices here seem to be about $.20 higher than what is listed as average.

Crappiest motorcycle ever?

Here it is, possibly the crappiest motorcycle......EVER!



















EAT HATE MIAMI!

2005 Blue & White hits!!!!!

There is a new video which has been compiled of some awesome hits fromt the 2005 season. It can be found here! As one can expect there are some big hits featuring P-Pos, The Assasin, Tamba, and of course maybe the hardest hitting QB in college football M-Rob! GO STATE!!!











Think this guy hits hard? He'll kill you. Then he'll eat you! He will hit you so hard he'll hurt himself just to inflict the maximum amount of pain on you!

PB, V-Day, and the Linc!

I found out the other day that my Pops, PB, has taken a stand against Valentine's Day. Apparently the old man has reached the end of his proverbial rope. He objects to celebrating Valentine's day but is not actually worked up about having to buy things. He still bought Mom flowers, however, instead of the card reading "Happy Valentine's Day!" it read "Have a Happy Lincoln's Birthday!". I think PB has simply reached a point in his life where he is gonna do whatever the fuck he wants, in other words "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!".
I have to give it too him, it is pretty cool. The flowers keep the peace at home and yet he can still stick it to the man and praise one of our country's greatest presidents. Good work PB! Maybe this year is the year you get Nixon!

The "accident"

VP Dick Cheney "accidentally" shot a guy while hunting. The only anomally was that other hunters heard Mr. Cheney shout: "He's comin' right at me!" just before the shot was fired. Weird. I guess preemptive attacks work in a number of different scenarios.




















"If any of you bagglers wanna get fuckin' shot I can help you out!!!"

Call Turk

I had forgotten about this but it is hilarious. 916-CallTur(k). or 916-225-5887. Its from SCRUBS maybe you'll get through, maybe you won't. I know its old but it remains awesome. I urge you to Call Turk!

Color and Commentary

As everyone knows there is a new team calling Monday Night Football (MNF). Joe Theisman, Mike Tirico, and Tony Kornheiser are now the new triumvirate which will be calling the MNF games. I think this will be a good line-up, however, it got me thinking about assembling a Dream Team of football announcing. I am only going to include current announcers, it is not anything against the older guys, I just know more about the more recent crews.
A dream team of football announcers could be composed of several guys: Troy Aikman, Moose, The PTI guys, Joe Buck, Bob Costas, Ron (Jaws) Jaworski, Keith Jackson, Lynne Swann, Myron Cope, Melissa Stark. Of course, you can’t have all these folks jammed into a booth to call a game. Even putting four people into a booth is too many, the best is two-three man team with one-two people down on the sidelines. Because of this, not everybody is going to make it onto my dream team of commentators.
Lets start with the play-by-play, all of these guys are good but I would have to go with Keith Jackson. He is not only already an ABC-ESPN guy but also, for me, he is the voice of college football. I know, I know, college football is the key to the sentence. But for my money he is the guy to go to. Also, those Gatorade commercials would be crap without KJ!
For a color-commentator you have to go with Troy Aikman. While Troy played for the biggest ensemble of scum and villainy anywhere in the universe he is an excellent commentator.
I think that the two man combination of Jackson and Aikman would make a great team, however, I am going to choose an alternate. This alternate would not replace either of the regular guys but would simply join them. For this alternate I would choose Mike Wilbon. Nothing against TK but Wilbon is my boy, and I think he can stay awake more easily.
The sideline team. Clearly, Melissa Stark makes the cut for obvious reasons. In a surprise move, I am gonna put Myron Cope, inventor of the terrible towel, down there too. I put old Myron down there because he is hilarious. If you have not heard him he is like a squeakier, smaller, Western-PA version of Don Vito.
The Jaws factor. I love Jaws. His analysis is excellent and very interesting. Jaws did not make my list simply because I love his analysis in the pre-game and post-game so much! I simply cannot sacrifice his talents from those segments to put him in the booth. I just wanted to clear this up because it could be considered a major error to not include him.

That is my list. Look on it with awe!

Big LJ, not little lj.

Larry Johnson Sr. has been named recruiter of the year by rivals.com. This simply illustrates what a good year PSU just had recruiting talent which they can use to reload instead of rebuild. Previous winners include: Ed Orgeron of Southern California (2004) and Kevin Steele of Florida State (2005). However, this is first time a Big Ten coach has received this honor!
This effort on the recruiting end is what can catapult PSU back to being a perennial powerhouse in college football. Good work Big LJ!

GO STATE!

Just crazy enough to be true.

Via the Onion:

LOS ANGELES—Working with evangelical Christian organizations such as Focus on the Family, the Motion Picture Association of America has developed a movie-rating system based on the laws of the Old Testament. "There was some concern that our existing system was neither strict nor specific enought," MPAA President Dan Glickman said. "Hence, such improved ratings as B-M21 [Blasphemy Only To Be Viewed By Males Over 21] for Finding Nemo, as it was only given to Adam to name the animals." The new ratings system will be instituted around Easter, at which time all producers of movies formerly rated NC-17 will be burned at the stake, their fields sown with salt, and their names cursed unto the ninth generation.

This is where we could be going. My prediction:
James Dobson















will see this satire, take it seriously and start a grass roots campaign. Bush already loves the idea even though he has never heard of it. The Constitution is amended, because this sort of shit is important. We all live better more moral lives. Hooray!

Go Stillers!

We are fast approaching game time and I am readying myself for Superbowl XL to blow into town. My preparations are nearly complete. Steelers T-shirt? Check. Yuengling hat? Check.




















I do still need some Jerky.


















Who doesn't love tender man-jerky? I am a fan.

Bad hair and Crime

Because of my clinical placement, I get the dubious pleasure of getting to clap my eyes upon a lot of criminals. I have noticed several things about the average criminal but the most interesting is the previlance of extremely bizzarre hair. The first of which is....the rat tail.
















I think the common link between the awful haircut and being a criminal comes down to terrible decision making. This is the haircut they CHOSE! It isn't as if this guy walked into the barber shop and said: "just a littel off the top." and then was saddled with a rat tail. It was a conscious decision. He asked for his hair to be short, real short, everywhere except for about a nickle sized amount in the back. Oh Yeah! If you think this haircut looks good it must be more likely that you would think growing a forrest of marijuana in your shed is a good idea too.